HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY!

 

An Irishman's Philosophy

 In life, there are only two things to worry about...Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about...Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about,
But if you die, there are only two things to worry about...
Either you will go to heaven or hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

And if you go to Hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends... You won’t have time to worry!

 

St. Patrick's Day Facts...Beyond the Blarney

Did you know that St. Patrick's Day is the Roman Catholic feast honoring Ireland's patron saint, St. Patrick? The holiday is also an international celebration of Irish history and heritage.

Patrick was neither Irish nor particularly religious, at least not initially. Patrick was born Maewyn Succat in 385 CE in the Welsh town of Banwen, and for the first sixteen years of his life he was an avowed pagan.

Maewyn, was captured by Gaelic slave traders at the age of sixteen and sold to an Irish sheep farmer.   He was enslaved for six years, during which he turned to Christianity for comfort. He escaped at the age of 22, and spent the next 12 years living in a British monastery. It was there that he adopted the name Patrick.

Patrick returned to Ireland after his time in a monastery, along with 20-some followers, serving as a Christian missionary 

St. Patrick is believed to have died in Ireland on March 17, 461 C.E.  The anniversary  of his death is now the day on which " St. Patrick's Day feast is celebrated  

 

The myth that Saint Patrick drove all snakes from Ireland into the Irish Sea is just that -- a myth.Many locals still insist that the serpents were drowned in by Saint Patrick, causing their sea to be so rough. The truth, however, is that serpents where never native to Ireland. The story is most likely a metaphor for the druidic religions, which disappeared from the Emerald Isle after St. Patrick spread the seeds of Christianity



While it is customary to wear green on St. Patrick's Day in the United States, the color green is actually considered unlucky in Ireland. Green is the color of faeries, which are believed to steal children who wear too much green.

 


The Shamrock, considered the official plant of Ireland, was viewed as a sacred plant in ancient Ireland and symbolized rebirth.

The phrase "the wearing of the green", means to wear a shamrock on one's clothing



On St. Patrick's Day, some revelers will raise a pint of stout and wish their companions "Slainté!"—the Irish word, pronounced SLAN-cha, for "health."



The toast may brim with scientific truth.
At a meeting of the American Heart Association in Orlando, Florida, in 2003, researchers reported that Guinness may be as effective as daily aspirin in reducing the blood clots that cause heart attacks.
(The benefit derives from antioxidants, which the researchers said reduce cholesterol deposits on arterial walls. The compounds are found in dark Irish stouts but not their paler cousins.)



By law, pubs in Ireland were closed on St. Patrick's Day, a national religious holiday, as recently as the 1970s

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 34 million United States residents claim Irish ancestry, or nearly ten times the entire population of Ireland today, which stands at 3.9 million. Among U.S. ethnic groups, the number of Irish-Americans in the U.S. is second only to the number of German-Americans.

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain,
tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you,
those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving all over the road.

 A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, Where have you been?'

 "Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk. Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening".

 "I did all right." the drunk says with a smile.

 Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest.," that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens "sighs the drunk, "I thought I'd gone deaf,"Very Happy

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man. 

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Shamrock

An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport.

"I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman. "He's due to fly in from
America in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years".

"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American.

"I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away for a long time".

"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American.

"Of course he will," said the Irishman. "Sure, an' I haven't been away at all".

Shamrock

Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving, Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer.

" What happened ?"said the farmer. Liam replied that his parachute failed to open, "Well" said the farmer," if you had of asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday."

 

Shamrock

An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him.
Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."


As Father Fitzgerald was walking down the street in Dublin, he spied across the way young Michael Donovan, a small boy living in his parish. Michael was at the door of a home across the street attempting to push the doorbell.

But young Michael is on the short side and the doorbell was simply too high for him to reach no matter how hard he stretched. Father watched young Michael stretch and strain toward the bell for a short time, but the bell drew no closer to the small child‘s fingers.

Father Fitzgerald strode quickly across the street ending up directly behind Michael standing at the door. While gently placing his hand on the small child's shoulder, the good man of God bent lower and gave the doorbell a good hard ring.

Then, squatting down lower to young Michael’s height, Father Fitzgerald smiled knowingly and asked, “And now what, my young man?”

“Now, Fadder?” replied Michael grinning, “Now we run!”

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.

"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."

O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."

"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."


O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"

 May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.

There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?

May the best day of your past
Be the worst day of your future.

Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.
Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But never forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day


May God grant you many years to live,
For sure he must be knowing
The earth has angels all to few
And Heaven is overflowing.

These things I warmly wish to you-
Someone to love
Some work to do
A bit o' sun
A bit o' cheer
And a guardian angel always near.

May joy and peace surround you,
contentment latch your door,
and happiness be with you now
and bless you evermore!

 

Three men walk into a bar: a Frenchman, an Italian and an Irishman.
Each orders one beer. Three flys fly into the bar and one fly lands in each man's beer.
The Italian man plucks the fly out of his beer, says "tutto e bene" (all is well)" and drinks the beer.
The Frenchman shows his beer with the bug still inside it to the bartender and demands another beer.
The Irishman yanks the bug out of the beer, grabs it by it's wings, shakes it while yelling
"Cough it up, you wee thievin' varmint"