REUNION HUMOR etc

Reunion Humor and Other Myths...
Because Life is Funny...


"Rekindled friendships often burn more brightly"

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

(Please send any humor or insights,etc to admin at "contact us"!)

 

WE DID IT!...
...BECAUSE WE STILL CAN!!

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

  "Truly great friends are hard to find,
difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

~ G. Randolf

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

 

The following is from Bill Grabowski! Thanks Bill!

THE REUNION...

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for their reunion dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitresses there wear low cut blouses.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group again pools their thoughts and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group again decides to discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group again discusses where they should meet for reunion dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group again discusses where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.

"Blessed is he who expects nothing,for he shall never be disappointed"  
Alexander Pope


Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

 

 38 Reasons to Attend your 35th Reunion!

1. Because You Still Can!

Life is short...
Each day and milestone should be celebrated!

 2. Because you're never too cool for your high school friends.
(and you'll be missed if you do not show up!)

3.Your family is tired of hearing your stories and
you want to relive them with someone who actually cares!

4. Ummm…who else is gonna fill in the blanks to your slipping memory? Thank goodness for name tags!

 5. If we get a good turnout, we're gonna take a group picture in the form of a 75!

 6. You can share a drink with your friends without having to
sneak into the bars.

7. Because you still think you have a crush on..
(umm, wait, don't think anyone can remember!)

8. If you don't show up, we'll assume you still have big/long or even no hair.
But, no one really cares about your hair!

They want to see you!

 9. You know you really want to!
(it just might be fun!)
   

10. Hey…Who cares if we don't fit into our old bellbottoms?
Ya gotta stay huggable!
Friends just want to see you!

11. Network! Network! Network!
It's a small world and you will be surprised at how many wonderful "coincidences" life really holds!

12. Because you're still upset that you were only voted runner-up for something...
(but we really can't remember!)

13. Enjoy an evening out without the Grandkids.
Don't worry, you might even be home before curfew or
the late evening news...

14.You've always wondered what happened to...
(um,can't
remember!)

15. Show off your pictures
(of your family,kids,grandkids, hot date,pets,car, vacations, etc!)!

16. Renew old friendships.
There's really nothin' like an"old"old friend!

 18. Renew not so old friendships, meet new friends!

19. Get the latest gossip, as well as can be remembered.

20. Because if you don't show up, you might be the subject of that gossip
(if anyone can
  remember!)

 21. See and be seen.

(because we might not remember, but it's fun to people watch!)

22. See if that old crush is still what you thought they were,
or as you thought you remembered!

The more some things change, the more some things stay the same...
and the fun is in trying to figure out the difference between the two!

23. Because you're curious and you HAVE to know what everyone has been doing for the last 35 years.  

24.Did we mention there would be lots of FUN??

25.You Love Reunions!

26.You have nothing better to do.

(sitting or napping on the couch doesn't count...)
 

27. Because you want to go where everyone knows your name...
(they just can't always remember!!!)

 28.To talk about the "Good ol’ Days"!
When we were "young", carefree and life seemed so simple...
(...From what we can remember!)
 

29. You’ll laugh, cry and reminisce with some of your oldest friends.    

  30. We're going to play music that you "remember"
(bring on the real music!) and maybe even understand,
Music that you can actually dance to! 

 31. Even if you didn't even like school, don't fret about it,
you'll most likely find something to laugh about now
after all these years!!

32. Because you know you really want to!

33.You don't have to lie about your age.

(well you can try, but some will catch on...
Even if we did officially turn into our parents!) 

34. Did we mention there would be lots of fuN?? 

35. It gives you a chance to humor those who have tried to plan these things...deluded die-hards that have hope that somewhere, some how it is going to make a difference...

36. Because some of us want an excuse to go back "Home"....
if only for a weekend!

37. Because we really want to see you!!!!

Who knows when there might be another reunion!!? 

38. And finally, studies have shown that those who were initially hesitant about attending their reunions,
discover it was The Event that they wouldn't have missed!

LIFE Happens...
Get up,
Get dressed,
Show up...

Betchya you'll be glad you did!!!! (and so will everyone else!)

Please help us make it a Night to Remember!!!!!

"Always do what you are afraid to do."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
  

 

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MISS YOUR CLASS REUNION... 

Most certainly many former students, no matter what high school they attended, ask the age old question,
"Why should I attend my class reunion?" It is a valid question, and I am sure if you expend a large allotment of time and mental effort, one could find a myriad of reasons not to make an appearance.
Some of us will choose not to attend because we are concerned about appearances of all types..
"Man, I can't attend because I've changed so much..." or "I've changed, but no one else has..."
"Gee, what if people discover that I'm not where I want them to think I am..."
"I'm so past that high school thing...I've moved on and so should they..."

We are not entirely the "same" people that took those final steps from those memorable halls of Mary D over 35 years ago. Back then we were all fresh faces, some with dreams in hand and spirit, eager to stamp our own unique signature into this temporal world. Some of those dreams came to fruition. For others, dreams changed and evolved into a different and marvelous reality unfathomable as mere kids.

Whatever we have become, for the most part we are far better people than when we left the launching pad back in 1975. We are more articulate, expressive and more self assured of ourselves. We have the ability to fight through the insecurities of youth and peer pressure that limited the full potential that resided; chained deep within our psyches. For once we can reveal our true selves and in return uncover the 'undiscovered country' in our friend's lives. We are more complete people.
It is a time of rediscovering why we were all friends and companions at one time , The fact that we have shared a common experience during a moment in time that was extremely blessed by God and directed by loved ones, is the social glue that beckons at the core of our souls to come home, one more time.

It is our hope and prayer that you join us and have a blast at your reunion. Understand that time is a precious and limited commodity. Invest it wisely and reap the wealth in a payout of smiles, laughs and love. Please join us...and help us celebrate Life and the fact that we still are able to celebrate!
 

OBSERVATIONS OF GROWING OLDER…

The older we get,the fewer things seems worth waiting in line for. (There will be no lines at the reunion,except maybe at the bar!)

Your kids are becoming you...and you don’t like them! But your grandchildren are perfect!

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it!

When people say you look “Great”...they add “for your age”!

You forget names...but it’s OK because other people forget they even know you!

You ask your husband or friend how your outfit looks and they tell you the truth!

The last two outfits you wore had spots on them.

When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything...movies, hotels, flights, etc.

The five pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

You know when you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks!


Before going anywhere you make sure to bring your eye glasses!

"It's funny how friends can come in and out of your life so quickly, yet leave footprints and memories in your heart forever."

 

Reunion Angst...
(Credit to John 'Johnnyreb' White  LHS Class of 1973)

I am sure many former students, no matter what high school they attended, ask the age old question, "Why should I attend my class reunion?" It is a valid question, and I am sure if you expend a large allotment of time and mental effort, one could find a myriad of reasons not to make an appearance. Some of us will not attend because we are mentally limited by the way our lives have turned out, or the way we may appear. "Man, I can't attend looking like this. I look as broad as a barn, with the doors both wide open." "Gee, what if people discover that I shovel elephant dung at the circus." " Will my friends be intimidated that I am lavishly and sinfully wealthy?" Of course you could be the fat man at the circus, where you shovel pachyderm feces on the side, but you have made several million bucks on the sides as a commodities trader. Wouldn't that be a story to tell your old friends?

We are not the same people that took those final steps from those memorable halls of Mary D over 34 years ago. Back then we were all fresh faces, with dreams in hand and spirit, eager to stamp our own unique signature into this temporal world. Some of those dreams came to fruition. For others those dreams changed and evolved into a different and marvelous reality unfathomable as mere kids. Whatever we have become, for the most part we are far better people than when we left the launching pad back in 1975. We are more articulate, expressive and more self assured of ourselves. We have the ability to fight through the insecurities of youth and peer pressure that limited the full potential that resided; chained deep within our psyches. For once we can reveal our true selves and in return uncover the 'undiscovered country' in our friend's lives. We are more complete people. It is a time of rediscovering why we were all friends and companions at one time , The fact that we have shared a common experience during a moment in time that was extremely bless by God and directed by loving parents, is the social glue that beckons at the core of our souls to come home, one more time. It is my hopes and prayers that you will have a blast at your reunion. Understand that time is a precious and limited commodity. Invest into it wisely and reap the wealthy payout in smiles, laughs and love.

 

Live Fully, Breathe Deeply and Love Completely!


 

Our Friends Are A Very Important Part Of Our Lives.  Treasure The Tears, Treasure The Laughter, But Most Importantly, Treasure The Memories."

 

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely I can't look that old?' Well, you'll love this one.
While sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class almost 30 years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St. Peter's High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Spartan," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1979. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-gun asked, "What did you teach?"

   

 

 Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

 My wife and I were sitting at a table at my 30th high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.  My wife asked, "Do you know her?".  "Yes," I sighed.  "She's my old girlfriend.  I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since."  "Oh my goodness!" said my wife.  "Who'd think a person could go on celebrating that long?"...see, there really are two ways to look at everything!


 Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Don't bother, tell them you look this way because you've traveled
a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

...Life... ...I'll be happy when......

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with..and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting...
Until your car or home is paid off...
Until you get a new car or home.....
Until your kids leave the house....
Until you go back to school...
Until you finish school...
Until you lose 10 lbs....
Until you gain 10 lbs...
Until you get married...
Until you get a divorce....
Until you have kids...
Until you retire....
Until summer...
Until spring...
Until winter...
Until fall....
Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy!

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.

Better Get Busy!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG...

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them.
That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love,
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country
but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

 

 

The following is an excerpt from an essay by Edward Beardshear, from Newark, Ohio on why he still loves to attend his high school reunion...

"So, lastly, why is my affection for all these people so extravagant, what are some reasons nobody forgets their high school years?
  • This was the place I grew up.
  • This is my spiritual home.
  • This was the place where I was safe.
  • This is the ground where the seeds of later life got sowed.
  • These were the people who were the anvils upon which I forged who I was and what I would become.
  • These people were the loving teachers of all the really important lessons of living and of life.
To forget your high school years is to amputate a major part of you. It isn't over, of course. The members of the Class of 1953, they teach me yet.
  • They teach me now of the importance of holding life in reverence.
  • They teach me the critical importance of enjoying the moment and living well in it.
  • They teach me the strength of humility, the futility of pride and the emptiness of achieving money and power and status at the price of soul.
And most of all, they teach me gratitude.
God Bless them all."
 

 

High School Reunion is a Time to Celebrate
The 'Invisible People' 

High school reunion is a time to celebrate `the invisible people', by Richard Burton

     Few things grab us by the collar and humble us as much as our high school reunions. They come back, every ten years or so, to haunt us like a ghost from the past. And maybe that's just what's so humbling about them... our youthful past is exposed once again-laid bare like an open wound, and brutally juxtaposed with our current realitynbsp;  I'm from the class of 1969. What a year. Nixon was President; the Vietnam War raged out of control; men landed on the moon; a half million young people gathered for the Woodstock Festival; the New York Mets won the World series; and gas was 35 cents a gallon. 

    I say fortunate because reunions are the great equalizer. There is a satisfying irony in finding out that the captain of the football team now has bad knees, a beer belly, and is thrice divorced. That the gal whom you thought was a goddess now looks more like the gal at the checkout counter at K-Mart. And that the star honor student who later went on to receive a Ph.D. in nuclear astrophysics, has dropped-out, moved to Oregon, and opened an ostrich farm.

Now this is the best part. Because most of us were among the Invisible People in high school, we actually held up much better over the years than our more visible counterparts, the Jocks, the Brains, the Queens, and the Hoods. Our legacy is too blurred to really hang a label on. We were diamonds in the rough. We hadn't blossomed yet. Had not reached our peak. And thus, it is all but impossible to notice a glaring difference between then and now, because we seem today, about how we seemed back in high school... only with wrinkles.
We survived high school without too much baggage, and therefore, assimilated into proper society without much difficulty.  Many of the Jocks, Brains, Queens, and Hoods had a far more difficult time of it out in the "real" world in spite of their former lofty positions.

Actually, from my keen observations at these reunions, I would say that after the Invisible People, the Hoods fared best in the long run. Some had gone into the Marines after high school. That'll usually straighten a person out. Some had even done a little
prison time. Ditto. But most had simply outgrown their bullish and antisocial ways. These Hoods are now, for the most part, respectable members of society, married with 2.5 kids, and coaching soccer on weekends.

But back to the undefined masses, the multitudes of us who didn't stand out. Who just did what our parents and teachers told us to do. Who simply went to class, did our homework, got a good nights sleep, and did it all again the next day for 4 long, inglorious years. All without our 15 minutes of youthful fame. Here's to the true survivors... us...the Invisible people.


Class Reunions

Elizabeth Lucas

It was my class reunion, and all through the house,
I checked in each mirror and begged my poor spouse
To say I looked great, that my chin wasn't double,
And he lied through false teeth, just to stay out of trouble.
Said that 'neath my thick glasses, my eyes hadn't changed,
And I had the same figure, it was just a mite rearranged.
He said my skin was still silky, although looser in drape,
Not so much like smooth satin, but more like silk crepe.
I swallowed his words hook, sinker and line
And entered the banquet feeling just fine.
Somehow I'd expected my classmates to stay
As young as they were on that long-ago day
We'd hugged farewell hugs. But like me, through the years,
They'd added gray to their hair, or pounds to their rears.
But as we shared a few memories and retold some class jokes,
We were eighteen in spirit, though we looked like our folks.
We turned up hearing aid volumes and dimmed down the light,
Rolled back the years, and were young for the night.
 

 

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

"It's funny how friends can come in and out of your life so quickly, yet leave footprints and memories in your heart forever."

 

REUNION POEM
An announcement arrives by e-mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the thirtieth year,it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait; they've set the date;
Our thirty-fifth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of Fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night.
Copyright © 2002-2009 M.C.A.

 

 

 


Games the "wonder years"! 

 
1. Sag, You're It!
 
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy  

 
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear    

 
4. Kick the bucket

 
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over
 
 
6. Doc Doc Goose
 
7. Simon says something incoherent

 
8. Hide and go pee

 
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta

 
10. Musical recliners  

 - If you're struggling with the idea of attending the Reunion, you are not alone...Apparently the internal debate is universal. We've all had some of the same thoughts. If we wait until we're rich enough/thin enough/successful enough, we would  never see anyone again!


Read on and discuss amongst yourselves. We all need to realize that our classmates don't care about what we look like, the size of our checkbook, or how fast we've climbed the corporate ladder.

For a few hours, at least, we can all be 18 again! Well, 18 with wrinkles and reading glasses anyway...

 

 

"Swallow your pride and reunite"

Not that we look old enough for this, but high school reunion season has rolled around, and this next one is a biggie.

Over the next few months, thousands of erstwhile kids from across the region will be flocking home to the nest like overgrown chicks for the ultimate midlife milestone: the 35th high school reunion.

But there is a surprising number of fifty-somethings who insist on missing this incredible chance to face - and laugh at - the past.

Why? This is what we're hearing, and why we think they should change their minds.

  Seriously folks, even though some of us lived in Kenosha before bloggers started calling it  Ke-no where - in fact, before bloggers even existed - there is something to celebrate about where we came from, and how far we've come. Even if some of you are afraid it's not far enough.


See you there.


TOP 10 EXCUSES FOR AVOIDING THEIR REUNION 

 

10.) I am not rich enough yet or my job is not high-powered enough.

When will you be successful enough to face everyone? In 2025 at our 50th reunion? Please don't wait that long --- life is too short to miss a chance to connect. Check your ego and attend our reunion anyway.

9.) I'm 53 and have not yet married, had kids, bought a house, written a book, sold my screenplay, traveled the world . . . (fill in your favorite personal disappointment here)

You have been doing something during these past 35 years. Come and tell everyone about it.

8.) I'm too heavy/going bald/have an embarrassing skin condition.

You aren't alone.  Try having wrinkles and zits at the same time! And most of us have another chin... None of these are good excuses. Pull on your Spandex, comb it over, slather on the Eucerin, and forget about it for the night.

7.) I didn't like  high school/"I don't care about those people"

Are you sure? Not one single person you can remember with fondness? Check your e-mail contacts list and I bet there is at least one faithful high school pal there. Message them and see if they are going. Ask if they would like to see you there. And the people watching is kinda fun!

6.) Everyone from high school disliked me or appreciated me..and/or I haven't kept in touch in 35 years, so why bother?

Avoidance will not make it disappear... Time to make amends. Show up at our reunion, make peace, and enjoy a special bonus - you won't spend the next 35 years thinking you are being disliked or not appreciated! It'll be way more fun that you think...

5.) I can't remember anyone's name.

The feeling is often the same for others...That's why God invented name tags and the bar.

4.) I'm afraid to see the one who broke my heart/whose heart I broke. Or, I'm afraid I won't see them.

Suck it up, they probably don't remember you anyway.

3.) I don't want my spouse to know what a loser I was in high school.

They already know and they love you anyway!

2.) I hate '70s music. I refuse to go anywhere where I might be trapped in a room listening to The Bee Gees, Donna Summer  and Disco!

 

Music will be picked out by Paul and Mindy Hubbard, promised to be worth the price of admission!

1.) I can't go because the dog has indigestion, I am having a  grandbaby, live more than 10,000 miles away, don't have permission from my probation officer to cross state lines...

OK, in those very special cases, you get a free get-out-of-reunion card, and we wish you well.

Seriously, there is something to celebrate about "yesteryear" and the fact that we can still celebrate! Many do not get this opportunity.

We hope to see you, because it won't be the same if you're not there!

(...and here's another rendition of same...catch a theme here?)

 If you are NOT coming to the reunion, you need a good excuse and a note from your Mom. The following reasons have been tried and are UNacceptable.

Excuse #1: I've gained a lot of weight!   
Rebuttal:  Look around!!  I doubt any of us could get back into our bellbottoms from high school any more. 
 

Excuse #2:  I'm a different person than I was in high school
Rebuttal: Lucky for you, we ALL are. Let's face it: we could only have improved.

Excuse #3:   I don't look as good as I'd like. I (choose one or more) am bald, have wrinkles, saddlebags, grey hair and no one will recognize me.
Rebuttal: Guess what! You won't recognize anyone else, either. We've all changed quite a bit since the old days!


Excuse #4: I'm not successful. I'm not (choose one or more) a lawyer, a doctor or rich.
Rebuttal: You'll be pleasantly surprised to find how much everyone has matured. We may be plump and wrinkled (see Excuse #3, above) but we're not stupid. Money is not success.

Excuse #5: I was not in a popular clique in school
Rebuttal: Now that we're old and smart, those cliques have dissolved just like the superficialities they were based on. The only cliques you'll notice at the reunion will be the sound of your joints as you walk around.

 Excuse #6: I just don't feel like it.

Rebuttal: Life is full of things we don't feel like doing, but once you do them, it's not nearly as bad as you thought it would be!

C'mon...try it,you just might like it!

       

We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:
 
  We have silver in our hair
  We have gold in our teeth
We have stones in our kidneys
We have lead in our feet
  And
  We are loaded with natural gas

MEMORY LANE - a stressful walk by Adrian McCoy

"High school reunions can be a time to renew old friendships and relive glory days.

But for some, an impending reunion can spark sheer terror, bringing on desperate crash diets and some tough self evaluation.  Any, for many, a reunion can give way to a tendency to embellish the truth a bit.

Especially susceptible to such problems are the 5 and 10 year reunion-goers, for whom salary comparisons and claims for overnight promotions are fodder for any number of television sitcoms. "At the earlier reunions, they're still on the road to their own life," says Alan Dezen, executive director of The Counseling Center in Bloomfield, Pa.  But those attending 5 and 10 year reunions, he said, have become "somewhat established in their careers, but they don't feel completely secure."

So getting ready for a reunion can be stressful. "You haven't had contact with these people for 10 years," says Dezen.  "People try to pick up where they left off, and they regress momentarily to when they were 17." Even confident, self-assured types may find themselves feeling pangs of teen angst, he says.

But, happily, reunions tend to lose some of the threatening qualities as years go by, gradually becoming more of a party than a milestone, says Bob Crytzer, a professional reunion organizer. "As you drift away from that (5 to 10 year) time frame, it becomes more of a reunion in the true sense.  People put aside their egos." By the 10th or 20th, for example, the cliques that existed in high school are totally dissolved.

By then, however, one problem may be replaced by another.  For example, Dezen says, by the 20th year reunion many classmates may be going into mid-life crisis, "looking to rekindle something from their youth that they feel is missing."

Dr. Douglas Schiller, a psychologist who has survived his 20th year reunion, has some insights into why mid-life reunions can be such an emotional experience.

For one thing, he said, people attending a 20 year reunion aren't always prepared to see friends looking more like their parents than their yearbook pictures.  "The first thing people notice at the 20th reunion is that people look older," he says.  "One is immediately struck by the passage of time."

The 40, 50 and 60 year reunions tend to have less pressure associated with them.  By then most have stopped seeing reunions as a kind of yardstick for personal achievement and are ready to have fun. But then these can be stressful occasions, too: usually death has claimed former classmates. 

The best advice for any reuniongoers, whether you're 23 or 83: 
lighten up and enjoy it.  "It's one evening.  You probably won't see these people again, or at least not for 10 years," Dezen says.  "What you say or do isn't going to make any difference.  You might as well have a good time."

Smile! ....and always remember life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

 

Friends are Friends Forever

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." --- Winnie the Pooh

 True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it's been lost." --- Charles Caleb Colton

 "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

 "Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend." --- Albert Camus

 "Strangers are just friends waiting to happen."

 "Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life."

 "Friendship is one mind in two bodies." --- Mencius

 "Friends are God's way of taking care of us." 

 "If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." --- Stone Temple Pilots

 "I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay." --- Dave Matthews Band

 "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them"

 "Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

 "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere" --- Tim McGraw

 "My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." --- Lee Iacocca

 "Hold a true friend with both your hands." --- Nigerian Proverb

 "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." --- unknown


 

 

You Know You're Over The Hill When...

  • You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
  • You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
  • Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
  • You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.
  • You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order.
  • You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Cumbaya..
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You start video taping daytime game shows.
  • At the airport, they ask to check your bags...and you're not carrying any luggage.
  • You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.
  • Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time.
  • At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
  • Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
  • When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...and it stays out.
  • One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
  • Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
  • You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.
  • You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
  • You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
  • You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
  • You look both ways before crossing a room.
  • Your social security number only has three digits.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
  • You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden.
  • You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep.
  • The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed."
  • At parties you attend, "regularity" is considered the topic of choice.

 

 
"nice glasses"!

GROWING "OLD" WITH YOUR SPOUSE


An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms -- calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.. The couple had been married almost 70 years, and they were still very clearly in love.

While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names."

 The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about ten years ago."

 

 

 

 The Class Reunion

Every ten years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait; they've set the date;
Our fiftieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night.

Author Unknown

 Bob hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked
into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over
in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in
greeting, saying,
"You look like Helen Brown."

"Well," the woman snapped back,
"you don't look so great in blue, either!"

 

Just in case you weren't feeling old enough today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshman. 

How Old Does This Make You Feel?

This is an eye-opener for old folks like me who forget that 1980 was almost 30 years ago. COOL! -- this is really far out, man! Hope you think it's groovy, too! Most of the students who are starting college  fall of 2000 across the nation were born in 1982. To get some idea about what has influenced their lives, read on -- and try not to laugh... or cry. Then ask yourself, "How old do I really feel?

1. They don't know much, if anything, about 442s, GTOs, AMXs, Barracudas, Falcons, Torinos, Corvairs, or Comets.

2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know he had ever been shot (much less, that he was an actor before he became President). The resignation of Richard Nixon is a footnote in a history book.

3. They were pre-pubescent when the Gulf War was waged. To them, the war was a video game shown on CNN.

4. Black Monday 1987 is about as significant to them as the Great Depression is to you.

5. There has only been one Pope. They can only really remember one President.

6. They were 9 when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War or the Iron Curtain.

7. They have never feared a nuclear war or practiced an air raid drill. "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie.

8. They are too young to remember the Space shuttle blowing up, and Tienamin Square means nothing to them. The moon landing in 1969 is more science fiction than fact to them. What was Sputnik?

9. They have heard about AIDS all of their life, but don't know anything about cholera, small pox or diphtheria.

10. They never heard about the Salk Vaccine or had a polio shot, and most likely, do not know what polio is.

11. Bottle caps not only have always been screw off, but have always been plastic. They have no idea what a pull top can looks like (or what a beer can opener or 'church key' is). Never had an RC Cola, a NeHi or a Grapette.

12. "Atari" pre-dates them, as do vinyl records and "45's". What's an 'adding machine'? What's a 'slide' rule for?

13. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

14. They have never owned a record player, but have always had a computer. What's a record changer?

15. They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of Pong or Space Invaders.

16. What's the big deal about "Star Wars"? The movie looks very fake to them, and the special effects are pathetic.

17. There have always been Red M&M's, and Blue ones are not new. What do you mean there used to be beige ones?

18. They may have heard of an 8-track, but chances are they probably have never actually seen or heard one.

19. The Compact Disc was introduced before they were born. As children, they were 'filmed' with a video camera.

20. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents. UPS has always delivered packages to their home.

21. They have always had an answering machine and wouldn't know what to do with a dial telephone. Can't imagine not having a portable telephone, or only one telephone in the house. What was there before the Internet?

22. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV. What's UHF/VHF?

23. They have always had cable and don't know anything about 'rabbit ears', or TV 'tube testers' in drug stores.

24. There have always been VCR's, but they have no idea what Beta is/was. What was Super 8?

25. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.... for everything, but they can program the VCR.

26. They were born two years after the Walkman was introduced by Sony

27. Roller-skating has always meant in-line for them. What's a skate-key?

28. The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno..... Johnny who???

 

 

29. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.

30. Popcorn has always been cooked in a microwave. How else would you cook it?

31. They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a football player. Who was Mohammed Ali or Cassius Clay?

32. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws, or watched the Mickey Mouse show.

33. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as W.W.I, W.W.II or even the Civil War.

34. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran. A Cuban Missile Crisis?... no way!

35. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

36. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

37. They never heard the terms "Where's the beef?", "I'd Walk a mile for a Camel", or "De plane, de plane!".

38. They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was.

39. The Titanic was found? Was it lost? I thought we always knew where it was.

40. Michael Jackson has always been white...... Who were the Jackson 5, anyway? What was 'Thriller'?

41. They think Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.

42. McDonalds hamburgers never came in Styrofoam containers. A 15 cent hamburger.... No way!

43. What's a Ben Franklin store? What was there before Wal-Mart? You went downtown to shop? Why?

44. Elvis Presley has always been dead.... what's the big deal?

 

Here is 2008's year's list:
    • Mindset List 2008 Most students entering college this fall were born in 1986. Desi Arnaz, Orson Welles, Roy Orbison, Ted Bundy, Ayatollah Khomeini and Cary Grant have always been dead.
    • "Here's Johnny!" is a scary greeting from Jack Nicholson, not a warm welcome from Ed McMahon.
    • The Energizer bunny has always been going, and going, and going.
    • Large fine-print ads for prescription drugs have always appeared in magazines.
    • Photographs have always been processed in an hour or less.
    • They never got a chance to drink 7-Up Gold, Crystal Pepsi, or Apple Slice.
    • Baby Jessica could be a classmate.
    • Parents may have been reading The Bourne Supremacy or It as they rocked them in their cradles.
    • Alan Greenspan has always been setting the nation's financial direction.
    • The U.S. has always been a Prozac nation.
    • They have always enjoyed the comfort of pleather.
    • Harry has always known Sally.
    • They never saw Roseanne Rosannadanna live on Saturday Night Live.
    • There has always been a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
    • They never ate a McSub at McD's.
    • There has always been a Comedy Channel.
    • Bill and Ted have always been on an excellent adventure.
    • They were never tempted by smokeless cigarettes.
    • Robert Downey, Jr. has always been in trouble.
    • Martha Stewart has always been cooking up something with someone.
    • Mike Tyson has always been a contender.
    • The government has always been proposing we go to Mars, and it has always been deemed to expensive.
    • There have never been any Playboy Clubs.
    • There have always been night games at Wrigley Field.
    • Rogaine has always been available for the follicularly challenged.
    • They never saw USA Today or the Christian Science Monitor as a TV news program.
    • Computers have always suffered from viruses.
    • We have always been mapping the human genome.
    • Politicians have always used rock music for theme songs.
    • Network television has always struggled to keep up with cable.
    • O'Hare has always been the most delay-plagued airport in the U.S.
    • Ivan Boesky has never sold stock.
    • Toll-free 800 phone numbers have always spelled out catchy phrases.
    • Bethlehem has never been a place of peace at Christmas.
    • Episcopal women bishops have always threatened the foundation of the Anglican Church.
    • Svelte Oprah has always dominated afternoon television; who was Phil Donahue anyway?
    • They never flew on People Express.
    • AZT has always been used to treat AIDS.
    • The international community has always been installing or removing the leader of Haiti.
    • Oliver North has always been a talk show host and news commentator.
    • They have suffered through airport security systems since they were in strollers.
    • hey have done most of their search for the right college online.
    • Aspirin has always been used to reduce the risk of a heart attack.
    • They were spared the TV ads for Zamfir and his panpipes.
    • Castro has always been an aging politician in a suit.
    • There have always been non-stop flights around the world without refueling.
    • Cher hasn't aged a day.
    • M.A.S.H. was a game: Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House.

 

Dear Abby on reunions...

 

 

 

HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS REQUIRE DEGREE OF HUMOR

 

 

 

DEAR ABBY: I saw the letter you printed from the 79-year-old woman who was concerned about going to her class reunion because she had been very promiscuous back in high school and had bedded about a third of the boys in her class. When I read the letter to my husband, he looked at me and said, "Did you write that letter?"Should I hit my husband on the head with my marble rolling pin or trash his golf clubs -- or both? -- HELEN IN TACOMA

 

 

 

DEAR HELEN: None of the above. But if it WERE true, I'd hide the yearbook.

 

 

 

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Former Belle of the Ball," the 79-year-old lady who's reluctant to attend her 60th high school reunion. My siblings and I were all born, reared and educated on the West Coast. One of my baby sisters was popular in high school and wouldn't think of missing a reunion. Sis was, and still is, the girl with the perfect skin, perfect body, perfect career, etc., even after two husbands and four children. Sis related this story to me after attending her 25th high school reunion. When she made her entrance, not only was there no drum roll or trumpets to announce her arrival, no one recognized her. She later admitted that she didn't recognize any of them, either, name tags and all.

 

Then something interesting happened. People began approaching Sis's husband, saying, "I remember you!" He's usually socially retiring, but after people persistently ignored his protests, he settled into enjoying being identified by various people as everyone from the quarterback of the football team to the class president. One woman even pointed to a picture in the class almanac and announced, "There you are. I could never forget you!"

 

Tips for How to Act at High School Class Reunions
Taken from Ann Landers advice column,

June 9, 2000

1.  No whining or moaning over what "might have been," or anything else
depressing.  No one wants a pall cast over this happy event.

2.  Seek out people who have made a difference in your life, and thank them.
  They will appreciate it.

3.  Check your midlife crisis at the door.  No one needs to know you are
having an affair or that your spouse just left you.

4.  Do not brush off anyone who wants to talk to you.  It doesn't matter
whether or not you liked that person in high school.  We have all changed.

5.  Bring an extra hankie, and cry all you want when you are overwhelmed by
nostalgia and old friends.  Tears can be a great catharsis.

6.  All responses to questions should be at least two full sentences.  don't
be abrupt.  It will make you appear snobbish.

7.  Don't do too much bragging.  It puts a spotlight on your insecurities. 
The best compliments are the ones you get without fishing.

8.  Any remarks about your baldness, weight or wrinkles should be countered
with something humorous or self-deprecating.  No offense is intended. 
Sometimes, when people are surprised at the change in the appearance of an
old friend, they don't know how to deal with it, so they try to mask their
surprise with humor.

9.  Be careful how you approach others.  Be respectful.  Remember that you
are dealing with someone's wife, husband, mother, or father.

10.  Be yourself.  We remember you from way back, and will accept you the
way you are.

To my FRIENDS: 

In Kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one. 

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls. 

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully. 

In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus. 

In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan. 

In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you. 

In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed. 

In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had. 

In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears. 

In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there. 

In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch. 

In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced  your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick [or Glenn] or Susan, and found you a date to the prom. 

 



In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go.

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you. 

The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved. 

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you! 

 



Pass on to those friends of the past, and those of the future...and those you have met along the way. 

Thank you for being a friend. No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there. 

There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them. 

 


 

If you love someone, tell them.
Remember always to say what you mean.
Never be afraid to express yourself.
Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you.
Seize the day and have no regrets.
Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family,
for they have helped make you the person that you are today
and are what it's all about anyway. 



The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that
the regrets may stay around forever.

 As I've Matured...

...I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

...I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
...I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
...I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
...I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

...I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
...I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
...I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.


...I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
...I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
...I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
...I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
...I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.


...I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
...I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
...I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your
house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
...I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
And the real pains in the rear are permanent.

 Twisted Puns

1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. 

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

4. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.

5. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess Nuts boasting in an open foyer."

6. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, No pun in ten did.

7. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But They are twins - If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

 8. And the worst of the bunch:
These friars were behind on their belfry payments,
so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the "men of God", the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her too. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, they did so -thereby proving - Are you ready for this?!
That Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

OLD IS WHEN...

* your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

* your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
* going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
* You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
* you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
* "getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
* "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
* an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

 

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1.You believe in Santa Claus.

2.You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3.You are Santa Claus.

4.You look like Santa Claus.

 

 

SUCCESS: 

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a driver's license.
At age 75 success is . .. having friends.
At age 80 success is ... . . not peeing in your pants..

 


A MATTER OF LAUGH OR DEATH...

Come to think of it, not much has changed in 35 years

It’s hard to believe it has been 35 years since Graduation Day, 1975. It’s hard to believe after this many years, we continue to say, “It’s hard to believe…” What did we think, that we were immune to the passage of time?

That we would remain forever in our 20s? That we were the first genera­tion in history that would not wake up one day and discover we were now in our 50s, and our kids are older than we were when we graduated?

Yes, that’s exactly it. We never thought we’d ever get old. Or, at least, we never thought it would happen so darn quickly. There’s an old expres­sion: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Well, there’s another old expression: The more things change, the more they REALLY change.

Here is a list that demonstrates how much things indeed have changed during the past 35 years.

Each couplet describes something we were doing back in 1975, followed by what we instead are doing now in 2009.

Sociology exam – Prostate exam.

Going to sleep at 4 a.m. – Waking up at 4 a.m.

Keg parties – Tupperware parties.

Long hair – No hair.

Hot dates – Hot flashes.

Hours of enjoyment with a $4 Fris­bee – Hours of frustration with a $900 set of golf clubs.

Progressive politics – Progressive bifocals.

Getting high – Getting high blood pressure.

Beer kegs that flowed to the max – Bladders in desperate need of FLO­MAX.

Lying to our parents about what we did in high school – Lying to our children about what we did in high school.

Starting Saturday night at 10 p.m. – Concluding Saturday night at 10 p.m.

Poli Sci – PoliGrip.

Studying ancient history – Remem­bering ancient history.
Thinking people in their 30's were old timers – Thinking people in their 30's are young pups.

Hundreds of vinyl albums stored in a heavy wooden crate – Hundreds of digital albums stored in a 2-ounce iPod.

Hoping we wouldn’t have to move back in with our parents – Hoping our kids won’t move back in with us.

Greek fraternities – Grecian formu­la.

Wishing our parents would leave us alone – Wishing our kids would call once in a while.

Amazed at Bruce Springsteen’s en­durance during a 3-hour concert – Amazed at Bruce Springsteen’s en­durance during a 3-hour concert.

Bushy mustache – Bushy ear hair.

Deciding where to live – Deciding where to be buried.

Trying to discover the meaning of life – Trying to discover the meaning of death.

Focused on finding happiness – Re­alizing happiness comes when we stop focusing on it.

Now that the Class of ‘75 has ac­quired age and guile, we too under­stand that the experience gained during the past three decades far out­weighs youth, innocence, and especial­ly those hideous 1970s-style haircuts.

Which brings us to our final 1975-2010 couplet .

Thinking people in their 50's were ancient fossils – Knowing people in their 50's are just hitting their prime.
Well, at least that’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

 

 

OLD FRIENDS:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,
they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time,
but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and
glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

 

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:

'So I hear you're getting married?'

'Yep!'

'Do I know her?'

Nope!'

'This woman, is she good looking?'

'Not really.'

'Is she a good cook?'

'Naw, she can't cook too well.'

Does she have lots of money?'

'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'

'Well, then, is she good in bed?'

'I don't know.'

'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?

'Because she can still drive!'

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Woman's Random Thoughts...

 

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free ... You either married it or gave birth to it.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids but she doesn't really care.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies.
Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class for invigorating toning? "Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch ... do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

(This is from a recent San-Diego Union Tribune article...Familiar theme? Am not crazy about the comparison to a colonoscopy, but you get the "point"..

How can I survive my high school reunion?

 By Jenifer Goodwin Union-Tribune Staff Writer 8:00 a.m. July 3, 2009

 In life, there are certain things you must deal with once or twice a decade.

Renew your driver's license.
Get a colonoscopy.
Decide if you're going to attend your high school reunion.

Every 5-10 years, you'll probably receive an invitation to revisit the years that you spent wishing away pimples and dreaming about the hottie in homeroom.

If you were prom queen or starting quarterback, if you still have your figure and/or your hair and you're now CEO of a successful corporation, then your only decision will be whether to take the BMW or the Porsche.

But for most everyone else, the thought of seeing all those old faces stirs a potent mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

Will they remember you as an immature, self-centered teenager or will they see the much-improved adult you've become? Have your looks stood the test of time? Will you have anything to say to people you haven't seen in years?

If you're mulling whether or not to attend your reunion, here are some things to consider – and ways to prepare for your journey back in time.

Why am I so nervous?

It's normal to worry that your old classmates will judge you for who you were then, instead of the mature, accomplished adult you are now.

“One thing you have to remember is that everyone is in the same boat,” said Lynn Thompson, owner of Carlsbad-based Reunion Specialists. “You are 10, 20, 30 or 40 years more mature and more experienced. You're not the same person you were, and neither are they.”

My career has had more downs than ups, and I recently got divorced. I don't want to explain all of that.

So what if you've never become a titan of business or renowned brain surgeon? The older you are, the more likely it is that everyone else in the room has suffered their own disappointments, from failed businesses to failed marriages.

Before you go, think about what makes you happy, whether it's your children or your travels, and talk about that.

Should I bring my spouse or significant other?

About half do, half don't, Thompson said. If your spouse or partner doesn't need a lot of your attention at social functions, then go ahead, Thompson said.

If you're worried about not having anyone to talk to, it's also OK to bring a friend or sibling, perhaps someone who graduated another year from the same school, Thompson said.

I've gained a lot of weight and I'm not sure I want anyone to see me.

You can try dieting, exercising and booking your Botox/teeth-whitening appointments. Or you can try not to worry about it so much.

In a survey of 277 adults before and after they attended reunions, many expressed fears about being judged harshly by their former classmates.

Yet hardly anyone said they were interested in doing that to others, said Glenn Reeder, a professor of psychology at Illinois State University.

“People get nervous when they think the purpose of the reunion is to show other people how successful they are, or compare who's gained weight,” Reeder said. “But that's not why most people go.”

What should I wear?

Choose an outfit that's flattering and comfortable, and cross your fingers that the organizers haven't chosen a tropical theme. Floral dresses and Hawaiian shirts don't do anyone any favors.

Women can't go wrong with a simple dress and heels. For men, a dress shirt, slacks and maybe a jacket will work.

There will always be one guy wearing shorts and flip-flops and one woman in a fire-engine red, sequined number. Let it not be you.

I was part of the “in” crowd in high school. Frankly, I wasn't always so nice.

Whether you were the geek or the snob, well, they don't call it adolescent behavior for nothing. Some people apologize for past behavior in their reunion bios, Thompson said.

I was not part of the “in” crowd. In fact, I remember high school as something to be endured.

If there are wounds that haven't fully healed, use the event as an opportunity to replace those old memories with new ones.

Some of those old classmates have probably grown into people you will like a lot better today than you did then.

I'm still feeling unsure. Give me one good reason why I should go.

Reunions can be great for rekindling old romances and networking. But the main reason to go is that you'll probably have a good time.

In the survey of reunion attendees, nearly everyone reported having fun.

“The older the respondent was, the more they enjoyed the reunion,” Reeder said. “As you age, you're a long way from those high school cliques and are just happy to make connections with people you once knew.”

Jenifer Goodwin

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see
over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The
woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it.. I
could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more
minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she
was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure
enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the
other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through
three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned
to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

 

 

 

 

 

APHORISMS


1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always
starts  tomorrow.
  
 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will
make him wag his tail.
  
 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any  sense at all.
 
 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
  
 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when
you're in deep  water.
  
 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is
afraid of  the dark to become a teenager who wants
to stay out all night?
  
 7. Business conventions are important because they
demonstrate  how many people a company can
operate without.
  
 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger
than  everyone else looks?
  
 9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
  
 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy
who wants to  buy a car.
  
 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get
more  publicity.
  
 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a
wrong number  at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
  
 13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their
team is  winning.
  
 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a
nap.
  
 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way
you're  going to like it.
  
 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not
everybody has the same size  bucket.
  
 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have
thousands  of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the  Golden Oldies!)
  
 18. Money can't buy  happiness -- but somehow it's
more comfortable to cry in a  Corvette than in a Yugo.
  
 19. After 50, IF you don't wake up aching in every
joint, you are  probably dead!!
  
 
20. Always be yourself because the people that
matter don't mind,  and the ones who mind, don't
matter!

 Disclaimer: The content of this page is not intended to represent the views of those in our class, but is a miscellaneous compilation ,meant to be humorous and never offensive.  After all the bittersweet moments of Life, through the joys and tears, it is especially important to keep one's sense of humor, and maintain the ability to laugh at one's self... Please take it for what it is worth, and keep it all in perspective...( my lack of computer skills is obvious and chronic ADD/ADHD act up quite a bit, so forgive me! i have to have some excuse!)
The old adage, "Simple minds are easily amused" has been a life motto! Please consider the source and remember to keep on smilin'...it makes people wonder what you are thinking!...kbot

...It really all  comes down to the simple fact that our friends and family are our most precious gifts..Savor them..Enjoy them and Count them among your richest Blessings!