HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 2017

As we celebrate our Mothers and Motherhood this month...

We salute and give thanks for Mothers
and Mr. Moms everywhere!

When you thought I wasn't looking...
by a former child...

When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I learned that the little things can be very special in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick,
and I learned that we all need to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw you give your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that everyone can make a difference.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it,
and I learned the importance of FAMILY.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good,
and I learned that I would need to be responsible when I grew up.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I sometimes saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned there are things that can hurt, yet it's O.K. to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I saw that you truly cared about people,
and I wanted to be everything that I could possibly be
to follow in your footsteps.
When you thought I wasn't looking...
I looked at you and wanted to say,
"Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."

~Modified Version, Author Unknown
— Mary Rita Schilke Korzan, Original Author

The following is simply titled "Momisms"...

As a kid and even during our growing up years, we receive some sound scolding from our mothers time and again. These sharp comments and directives raise our indignation and irritation and we love to dismiss them as "unnecessary criticism" or "momism". But the fact is, we would not have mended many of our wrongdoings and grown up to be socially amiable without many of these timely utterances from our mothers. Amusingly, most of us grow up to mouth the same sayings of our mothers when we find ourselves in her shoes.
This Mother's Day, let us take a look at some well known "momisms". With little variations, these phrases have been repeated again and again by mothers around the world, irrespective of race, caste, social standing and religion. You may even find some of your own mom's sayings here.

Enjoy this article and have a great "flashback"!

  1. What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
  2. If I talked to my mother like you talk to me....
  3. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
  4. "If you see a penny pick it up, put it in your drawer and it will grow".
  5. "Peel one potato per person,and one for the pot".
  6. "What goes around comes around."
  7. What's meant to be,is meant to be.
  8. I've got eyes in the back of my head, that's how!
  9. You tell that bully to cut it out or you'll tell the teacher...
  10. You have enough dirt behind those ears to grow potatoes!
  11. Honestly... You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!
  12. Who'll end up walking, bathing and feeding it...?
  13. Get that thing out of your mouth!
  14. You'll understand when you have kids of your own.
  15. I hope that when you grow up, you have kids "Just Like you"!
  16. I've told you a thousand times not to do so.
  17. If you hurt yourself, don't come running to me.
  18. Work hard! You were not born with a silver spoon in your mouth.
  19. Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
  20. It doesn't matter what you accomplish, I'll always be proud of you.
  21. Thanks to all the Moms everywhere!

"Mom's Closet..."


Women have strengths that amaze ...

They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens,
yet they hold faith, happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They volunteer for good causes.
They are pink ladies in hospitals, they bring food to shut ins.
They are senators, educators, childcare workers, executives, attorneys,
truck drivers, pilots, stay at home moms and your neighbors.
They fight for what they believe in. They stand up against injustice.
They write to the "powers that be" for things that make for a better life.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They can wipe a tear, cover a cut and pat you on the back at the same time.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They tell people that need to be told to straighten up their act.
They lend a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen
and a voice to make suggestions.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They can round up energy, even when they are tired.
They can stay up a little longer to talk to someone that needs a friend.
Women do more than give birth. They bring peace and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.

They weep with joy when their children excel,
and cheer when loved ones get awards.
Women want people to grow into the best person they can be.
They want to touch you in a way that
will make you share your goodness with others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair
... true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes because
that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!

~ Author Unknown ~

 

 When God created mothers

When the good Lord was creating mothers, he was into his sixth day of overtime, when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this one? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable;run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up, a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair,  and six pair of hands.
"The angel shook her head slowly and said,"Six pairs of hands...no way."
"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord."It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here, in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I love you," without so much as uttering a word."
"Lord,"said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, "Rest for now. Tomorrow..."
"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.
"The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly."She's too soft," she sighed.
"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what the mother can do or endure."
"Can she think?"
"Not only think, but she can reason and compromise,"said the Creator. Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
"There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you, you were trying to put too much into this model."
"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."
"What's it for?"
"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."
"You're a genius," said the angel. The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there."
Erma Bombeck 

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Why did God make mothers?

(Queston asked to 2nd graders....out of the mouths of babes!)
 
1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
 
2. Mostly to clean the house.
 
3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born. 

 
How did God make mothers? 
 
1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 
 
2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 
 
3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts. 

 
What ingredients are mothers made of? 
 
1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 
 
2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think. 
 

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 
 
1.  We're related. 
 
2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me. 
 

What kind of a little girl was your mom? 
 
1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 
 
2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
 
3. They say she used to be nice.
 

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 

1. His last name.
 
2.  She had to know his background..  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer? 

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 


Why did your mom marry your dad? 
 
1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot. 
 
2.  She got too old to do anything else with him. 
 
3.  My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
 

Who's the boss at your house? 
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2.  Mom.  You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.  I guess mom is,but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
 

What's the difference between moms and dads?
 
1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 
 
2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 
 
3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends. 
 
4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 
 

What does your mom do in her spare time? 
 
1.  Mothers don't do spare time. 
 
2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 
 

What would it take to make your mom perfect? 
 
1.  On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 
 
2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe blue. 
 

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 
 
1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I'd get rid of that. 
 
2.  I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me. 
 
3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
 

 

 

MOTHERS


Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
They don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up...

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little
Voice
 says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.....

This is from Mario!
For women everywhere and those of us that were born from women...! Thanks, Mario!

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women
 
 PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
 
 Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
 A: No, 35 children is enough.
 
 Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
 A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
 
 Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
 A: Childbirth.
 
 Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
 A: So what's your question?
 
 Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
 A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
 
 Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
 A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
 
 Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
 A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.
 
 Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
 A: Yes, pregnancy.
 
 Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
 A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
 
 Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
 A: When the kids are in college.
 
 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'
 
 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'
 
 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 1-      800-'.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
 
 TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
 10. Cats' facial expressions.
 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
 7. Fat clothes.
 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off- white, and eggshell.
 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
 3. Eyelash curlers.
 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
  AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
 1. OTHER WOMEN
 
 Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day.
 WE ALL NEED A SMILE!
 
 'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'